Have you ever felt heartbroken when your child complains about how you're not successful enough or how they deserve more than what you can provide?

It's a tough moment to face as a parent. You may wonder, “Why does this upset me so much?” It might help to take a step back and think about it. What are the values we hold dear?

What do we really believe is important in life? And how can we pass those values on to our kids?

Recently, a post from an anonymous parent about their 10-year-old nephew went viral, sparking conversations online. This boy was bright—he excelled at math, chess, roller skating, and was top of his class. He spoke fluent English and had a lot of achievements to be proud of. But he expressed frustration because his parents, who owned a Nissan car and couldn't afford an iPhone 7, weren't “good enough” for him. His classmates had the latest phones, while he only had a children's watch. The post sparked widespread discussion on platforms like WeChat and Weibo.

Why Kids Think This Way

What causes a child to view their parents in this way? Sociologists and parenting experts might point to several factors. It could reflect the pressure a child feels about social status and wealth. It might also reveal how disconnected the child feels from their parents' influence, not just in terms of money, but also in how much the parents help them navigate the outside world with confidence and love. This raises an even bigger question: Do the parents understand the pressure of society's competitive nature, and do they believe they are still their child's reliable source of love and trust?

Our Family Values: What Do We Believe?

Every family has its own set of values, and these are what we believe in and hold dear. Are we placing economic success above all else, thinking that wealth is the ultimate measure of worth? Do we fully embrace the competitive, survival-of-the-fittest mindset? Are we overly focused on personal achievements rather than relationships and empathy? These values are transmitted to children subtly—through our words, actions, and the way we treat others. Our kids are observant, and they quickly pick up on what is valued within the family and the wider society.

Just like every parent, we want to pass on good values to our children. But to do that, we first need to consciously think about the values we hold, and determine which ones are truly worth passing on. Helping our children live a happy, fulfilling life requires us to instill meaningful values that will guide them through the ups and downs of life.

10 Family Values to Teach Our Kids

Here are 10 key family values suggested by parenting expert Dr. David McFadden that we can consider passing on to our children:

1. Work Ethic

How do we view work? What kind of work ethic do we want to instill in our children? The value of hard work, dedication, and discipline can help kids understand the importance of putting effort into everything they do, no matter how big or small.

2. Caring for Others

How important is family to us? Do we prioritize protecting and caring for those closest to us? Teaching kids the value of looking out for one another and caring for others strengthens their emotional intelligence and sense of responsibility.

3. Mutual Respect

Respect is fundamental to any healthy relationship. Do we want our kids to show respect to everyone, no matter their background or status? Encouraging respect for others helps kids develop empathy and understanding, which are key for building meaningful relationships.

4. Honesty

What's our stance on lying? Do we value honesty in our family? Teaching our children that the truth matters encourages them to be open, trustworthy individuals. Honesty is the foundation of all strong relationships.

5. Responsibility

Should a person take responsibility for their actions? Is keeping promises important to us? When we teach our kids to be responsible for their choices, we prepare them to be accountable individuals who take ownership of their actions.

6. Family Traditions

Does our family have traditions or rituals that we value? These can range from holiday celebrations to weekly family dinners. Traditions help create a sense of belonging and unity, making kids feel secure and connected to their roots.

7. Generosity and Kindness

Do we consider other people's needs before our own? Are we willing to help family, friends, and even strangers in times of need? Teaching children to be kind and generous fosters a compassionate spirit and strengthens their sense of community.

8. Curiosity and a Love of Learning

There's always something new to learn in life. Do we encourage our kids to stay curious and keep learning? A thirst for knowledge helps kids adapt to change and grow into lifelong learners who embrace challenges rather than avoid them.

9. Forgiveness

Throughout our lives, we will be hurt by others. But learning to forgive is vital for our mental well-being. Teaching kids the importance of forgiveness helps them let go of anger and resentment, allowing them to grow emotionally and mentally stronger.

10. Effective Communication

Being able to communicate clearly and effectively is a skill that will benefit our children for the rest of their lives. Whether it's resolving conflicts or expressing their thoughts, teaching effective communication is one of the best gifts we can give them.

Conclusion: Shaping Our Kids' Future with the Right Values

As parents, it's our responsibility to pass on values that will help our children navigate life with confidence, kindness, and resilience. The values we teach today will shape their futures and help them develop into thoughtful, caring, and successful individuals. By taking the time to reflect on what truly matters, we can ensure that we're guiding our kids toward a life filled with purpose and happiness.

So, Lykkers, what values do you hold most dear? What do you hope to teach your kids for a successful future? Let's chat!