There’s a popular concept called emotional shielding—the ability to tune out external judgments and comparisons, live authentically, and focus on oneself. It sounds empowering, but putting it into practice can be surprisingly difficult.
Why is this so challenging? One key reason is a lack of actionable methods to achieve this goal.
From a psychological perspective, there are many ways to develop emotional shielding, but today we’ll explore a cognitive-behavioral technique: identifying the "thought figure" that’s obstructing your mental peace.
By recognizing this "thought figure," engaging in a dialogue with it, and challenging its influence, you can gradually strengthen your emotional shield.
Consider this scenario: during summer break, social media reveals posts where one child is preparing for the next semester, and another is on an international study tour. This leads to a wave of anxiety. Even after closing the app, the unsettled feeling persists.
In such moments, pausing to observe the thoughts arising in the mind becomes essential. For instance, a thought might surface such as, Failing to make the right choices for the child could ruin their future, or Compared to others, falling short as a responsible parent seems apparent.
These examples are not universal and should be personalized by reflecting on the exact thoughts emerging in such instances.
Once the thought figure is identified, the next step involves directly addressing it. Recognizing its presence enables a shift from feeling overwhelmed to entering a problem-solving state of mind.
This recognition might go as follows: Ah, this specific thought is what’s affecting the mood. Now, let’s engage with it.
A structured dialogue with the thought figure can include questions like:
- Why does this thought suggest falling behind as a parent?
- What evidence supports the idea that the current choices will hinder the child’s progress?
A logical response might then counter these concerns:
- Certain programs were not chosen due to well-thought-out reasons, whether related to resources, values, or priorities.
- This arrangement was designed with specific benefits for the child and the family in mind.
- The thought process behind these decisions reflects deliberate care, even if the choices aren’t perfect.
By systematically addressing the concerns raised by the thought figure, the scattered and intrusive emotions often start to subside. It becomes clear that parenting decisions, though not flawless, are intentional and worthy of acknowledgment.
After completing this internal dialogue, it’s often helpful to evaluate whether a sense of emotional resilience has improved. The process can serve as a reminder that living authentically and confidently involves deliberate decisions, not comparisons.
Developing emotional shields is not about dismissing external influences entirely but about cultivating inner clarity and self-assurance. With consistent practice, engaging with and managing thought figures can become a reliable tool for building emotional strength.
